How to Access Joy Amidst Suffering - What America Needs Now
Hi Brave Souls,
If you’re feeling heavy these days, you’re not alone. The headlines are relentless. Our group texts are filled with news, worry, and sometimes, resignation. Even the most optimistic among us can feel the world’s chaos pressing in. As a Joy Expert, I want to tell you: this is not the moment to look away from the hard stuff, or from the hope that still pulses beneath it.
Joy, believe it or not, isn’t frivolous. It’s radical, and it’s necessary.
Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, famously wrote: “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” Frankl didn’t sugarcoat suffering. He witnessed the unimaginable and still believed that meaning, and yes, even sparks of joy, could be found in the darkest places.
But here’s what Frankl knew, and what I see every day in my work: Joy is not about faking happy. It’s not about ignoring pain. It’s about building the muscle that lets you hold both—the ache, and the possibility, at the very same time.
So what do we do when the world feels unmanageable? We practice joy. And we make it a skill, not just a fleeting emotion.
Here’s my science-backed, field-tested process for a micro-moment Joy Reset—because sometimes, a minute is all we have:
🌟 THE 3-STEP JOY RESET
Step 1: Pause + Presence
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
Feel your breath, feel your body in the chair.
Say aloud: “I am grounded. I am here.”
Why? This instantly calms your nervous system and brings you back from spiraling thoughts to the safety of the present moment.
Step 2: Honor What's Hard, AND Let In a Micro-JOY
Try the “YES AND” statement:
“Yes, I feel heartbroken…AND my 6-year-old made me laugh out loud this morning with his spot-on camp counselor impression.”
“Yes, I’m overwhelmed…AND the sun hit my kitchen window in that way that made everything glow.”
Why? You’re not denying your truth, but you’re also not letting it swallow you. The “AND” creates a bridge to a micro-joy—a memory, a sound, a breath of fresh air, or a song.
Step 3: Smile, Let the Micro-JOY Land
Allow yourself to smile, even just a half-smile.
Feel the shift, even if it’s subtle.
Why? Smiling signals safety to your brain, releases feel-good chemicals, and gently rewires your system to notice more joy, even when life is hard.
Why does this matter?
Because the practice of micro-joys isn’t about denial. It’s about resilience, about giving your nervous system a lifeline so you can keep showing up, even in the storm.
It’s about remembering that joy is a muscle! Every time you practice, you grow stronger at it. And there’s no shame for not feeling joy all the time. This is practice, not perfection. Get in those JOY REPS!!
If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it possible to access joy, even now?” My answer is yes. Not in spite of the pain, but alongside it. I know, because I’ve lived it: through chronic illness, divorce, and career pivots, these micro-moments have been my medicine. And they can be yours, too.
Let’s help each other reclaim joy, not as an escape from reality, but as an act of resilience and meaning. As Frankl wrote, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms, to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
What if your micro-joy is the very lifeline you need right now? What will you choose to notice, even in the midst of it all? If you need help spotting it, reach out, I’m here, every step of the way.